My long-time reader may recall that I have paranoid-schizophrenia; this is why I have a generally low-intensity life writing opinionated drivel about booze and food. I developed it during the late 90s whilst I was studying at Oxford for my doctorate. The screaming intensity of the paranoid delusions and hallucinations became so powerful and intolerable that at about this time (2am) on the morning of 24 January 1999, exactly eleven years ago, I tried to commit suicide by slashing my wrists in the bath.

As I am sure you can deduce, this attempt and my subsequent efforts were unsuccessful. It has been quite a struggle living with paranoid schizophrenia, but I remember this anniversary of my first attempt to kill myself because it reminds me that, no matter how difficult things have been, I have still managed to survive. So this is really a happy anniversary; well done me for keeping going all these years!

At the beginning of last year, after literally years of being on a waiting list, I started a course of psychotherapy (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, aka CBT*, to be specific). I cannot claim to have enjoyed the experience, but it was incredibly useful. I applied myself to working out different techniques and new ways of thinking to deal with my psychotic experiences and found that they worked a treat. My life has become a lot more tolerable, and whilst I still experience the paranoid delusions and hallucinations, I am not terrified and anxious all of the time. I am so happy to be able to be at home and not feel constantly harassed and scared. Good stuff, eh?

I may not be the thrusting academic I once was, and a low-stress lifestyle seems like the way forward for the foreseeable future, but I am quite happy to be celebrating this eleventh anniversary and even happier that I know I will not have to try such a thing ever again.

*When I told one of my more colourful friends I was going to have a course of CBT he looked rather surprised and said he didn’t think I was into that kind of thing. I asked him what he meant by ‘that kind of thing’. He revealed another use of the abbreviation CBT that he knew and I didn’t: Cock and Ball Torture. I am glad the National Health Service did not send me for that kind of CBT.

Normally at this time of year I’d be bragging about how vaguely popular Elitist Review is and indulge in some stat-porn. However, I changed hosting providers in March and the new hosting company lacks the brilliant AWStats that kept telling me how many kind readers dropped by. With the less good webstats software I now use it appears I’m still getting thousands of visitors a month, but it doesn’t catch my RSS readers and it often goes completely on the blink. So no stat-porn.

I would like to take this opportunity, at the start of a new year, to express my thanks for all those who have been so supportive last year (and every year for along time). At the start of 2009 I was screamingly insane, not thinking I deserved wine and generally minutes away from committing suicide. Things were amazingly difficult in January and February, I was so unhappy and needed two trips to the loony bin. However, thanks to psychotherapy, medication and, most of all, the help from those who care about me, things have become more under control. 2009 was the year my health problems turned around, 2010 is a new year for feeling better again and I hope when my friends see me in future it’ll be happier and easier for them too. Thanks, boys and girls!

In addition to some Cedric Bouchard fizz I was given this lovely Chris Keenan pot. It is one of the best things I’ve seen by him in a while.

The inside burns with a vivid, evil radiance.

We got other Rupert Spira goodies whilst out yesterday, a couple of espresso cups:

They have a black slightly metallic glaze which, when the light is right, burns with iridescence. I will feel much happier when I make a brilliant espresso into one of these.

Just so you know, if you are looking to pick up some Rupert Spira stuff this is the mark on the base you should be looking for:

That red glaze is amazing.

It is a few weeks early but I don’t mind. I’ve been given a bowl:

Isn’t it marvellous? This is by Rupert Spira, a properly famous ceramicist (don’t tell me you’ve never heard of him). It is about 15cm across and has a wonderfully deep red glaze which is flecked with blue. I am very pleased with it, it is an entity of livid beauty.

If you are in London and you haven’t been to Collect yet, you need to get yourself over there this evening or tomorrow; it is wonderful. Clearly the best art fair I’ve ever been to, indeed better than it has been for years.

However, the story is of the acquisition of another beautiful thing. We drifted by the Adrian Sassoon stand and fell in love with a truly marvellous Rupert Spira bowl. It had to be ours. It is a stoneware bowl with an incised poem through black pigment over white glaze and it looks like this:

Isn’t that a beautiful thing?

We own a few pieces by him now, a truly gifted man. Do I prefer this to the Sarah-Jane Selwood pieces? I’d hate to commit myself…

Many thanks for taking the pictures, Dan.

Although you'd never have guessed, eh? We have switching hosting companies to a faster, cheaper provider. The transition should have been seamless.

I'm out of the bin, wehay!

A tasting note will follow later tonight.

Last night there was a fun-filled evening of fine wine and larks. I'll write up the wines I can remember tomorrow when I am hiding from the cleaner. Today I'll post pictures of the ceramics I was given. Firstly a large, celadon bowl made by Stanley Field:

A little stoneware vase by Ursula Mommens:

Finally a mug made by Karen Downing:

We've gone on a trip to Oxford to see the Inspires gallery's exhibition of Sarah-Jane Selwood ceramics. Not much of an exhibition, as it turns out, a sum total of five pieces on display. We are told she is not making as much these days because she is busy dropping sprogs. We scored the most distinctive and beautiful piece. It is a polished stoneware bowl called 'triple inversion'. It looks like this:

The polished stoneware feels amazing; it has the texture of a pebble on a beach which has been worn to smoothness by the sea.

Starting on 27 September there is a Sarah-Jane Selwood exhibition at the Inspires gallery in Oxford. This gallery opened after I moved out of Oxford, so I cannot guarantee the quality of it. However, I'll be visiting after lunch on the day it opens, just to look at her latest work rather than necessarily buy anything. I hope there is plenty of good stuff to fondle.

Yes, it is another Sarah-Jane Selwood bowl. This is only a little one, with a very pleasing ice-crackle glaze. I am told it is called Falling Counterpoint 1. It is nice to have a good little piece again; the bloody cat broke my last ones.

Insomnia is plaguing both the partner and myself. He suggested the following guest article.

We went out shopping today and with only moderate arm-twisting the partner purchased a truly, truly beautiful thing. It is a Sarah-Jane Selwood bowl and looks like this (click for enlargements):

We now own nine pieces by her and this is one of the most beautiful. I love it. It is really suggestive. If you want to pick up a piece by her I suggest you go to Contemporary Applied Arts.

This is a rant about art. More specifically, people's reaction to art. Now this is something that gets me very irritated but I shall try and keep this brief as it is not about wine.

We own a couple of display cases with ceramics on them. One has Sarah-Jane Selwood stuff in it:

Look at that stuff, really top bunny. The other display case has work by a variety of ceramicists in it:

From time to time we will score a new piece and when someone visits I will invariably whip it out to show them. Normally this will generate the response, "What is it for?"

We also have a new object d'art sitting on the wall in the hall. It is a metal construction:

When I show people this they say, "What is it supposed to be?"*

Now, these responses make me worry about the people I know. Are the people I like so utterly functional and devoid of feeling that they think everything has to have a use and everything has to be representational. Everything you buy doesn't have to have a specific purpose, unless you count 'pleasing you' as a purpose. Similarly, everything that doesn't have a use doesn't have to be a china representation of a dog but instead can be a form that pleases you. That is enough of a form or a use, that it makes you happy; if that is true all is well.

*I find this question so depressing I've been trying to answer it as facetiously as possible, this object is normally termed a 'wall minge'.

I have ranted about Sarah-Jane Selwood ceramics before on this blog; OK they are not wine, but they are beautiful things. In order to reward myself for surviving a freaking awful time and a brush with death I have decided to buy myself a little piece by her. I have owned four little pieces by her but the bloody cat smashed them before we got display cabinets (the cat has a bit of a thing for Sarah-Jane Selwood ceramics). So I am going to buy myself a new little piece. Contemporary Applied Arts have got three in stock and they sent me this picture of them:

Aren't they beautiful? I really like the ice-crackle glaze (which you can just see if you click on the picture to get an enlargement). Now I just have to decide which I want. I also have to not be tempted by one of her big pieces when I go into the gallery; they are great things.

I feel extremely fortunate to have acquired a beautiful thing today. Not a bottle of Musigny, but there are other interesting things out there. I also collect contemporary ceramics, and now have seven pieces by the talented, imaginative and reasonably hot Sarah-Jane Selwood. This is a fairly dodgy picture of the wonderful bowl I purchased.

One side of it has been folded up with six folds, which she terms a reconstruction. She is my favourite ceramicist because she is not only very skillful, but she also has new ideas on a regular basis; we like ideas. They are truly creative, inspiring and sensual pieces of art.

How can I afford these things? The Arts Council give ten-month, interest-free loans at registered galleries in a scheme called Own Art. I can afford a small amount each month whereas stumping up a big whack eats far too much into my monthly wine budget. If they accept me for a loan they'll accept a blind dog that has just been declared bankrupt for credit.

May I take this opportunity to recommend a couple of galleries in London where great ceramics can be purchased. Contemporary Applied Arts carry Sarah-Jane Selwood, Rupert Spira, Chris Keenan, Sophie Lowe, amongst others. They have a good range of art in other media as well. The Contemporary Ceramics Gallery has quite a lot of crap, but there are always a few good pieces there. They usually have some Sarah-Jane Selwood, Chris Keenan, Emmanuel Cooper and many others. Both top places to visit when you are in London, they have many beautiful things to look at and fondle.

Right, that is enough about ceramics, wonderful things though they may be. I promise the next post will be a tasting note, or some kind of wine-related rant....